I have moved

Before you panic, I have not moved to China without saying goodbye. But I have moved blogs.

You can now find me at www.aliciaschina.blogspot.com

I intend to post pictures, videos (if thats possible), thoughts and general info about my trip. Over the next few weeks it'll just be leading up stuff.

SO this is farewell to my blog at this address.

Parting is such sweet sorrow.... :)

grace for me?

You know last night I was lying in bed listen'n to worship music and pray-thinking (its like praying out loud but its in your head). It's funny how some things come to you at the most crazy moments. And thats how these thoughts came...

If I live under God's grace (which I testify that I do...Praise Him), then why does he extend more grace to me than to say...those in third world countries with no food and no family and no pillow and music and warm pj's. You see nothing I have I could have really earnt. How but by his grace did I get born into a wealthy family (by world standards we are wealthy, by our standards we are comfortable with a few extra's) with believing parents who have bought me up in the way I should go. How but by grace have I been priviledged to go to private schools and get an astonishingly good schooling and moral grounding. How but by grace alone can I say that I have a degree and no student loan and I am basically off on my OE next month. To then turn around and ask that God would remain faithful to his promise and see that I get the $10,000NZ I still need somehow just seems so, so downright cheaky. (Cheaky is not really the right word here, but I couldnt think of anything better.)

Man I don't deserve all that I have, but by his grace he gives it to me, blessing me. Why then do those with so much less who are way more faithful to the Father than me not get all they need? As Aslan said in "the Horse and His Boy", we are not to be concerned with questions about another's journey because we are not them. (He said that so much better, I will find the quote). Not to simply get myself of the guilt train do I say this, but rather to try and see things from anothers perspective. I don't know what 'Aslan' has in stall for me, I don't know that if one day I will find myself without all I currently have. Will my faith sustain me...or rather will HIS grace be that which carries me through. I strongly believe it will be the latter, as time will show...

stef&sams wedding pics

Look how happy they are!!

Sam admiring Stef's braclet.

Emmy and I before the wedding.

ok so im the slackest blogger eva...

Yea its true. I offically have not blogged for over a month. My biggest apologies, especially to my biggest fans, my Oma's!!

Its hard to know how to say where that month has gone...so I won't really try. A few updates though...

• I have new laptop!! And a new cell phone. I am truely blessed.
• Its really really soon till I leave...7August I'll be getting on that plane. (The funny thing here is that my flight leaves NZ at 7.45pm, and I arrive back in time on the 7th at 12.40pm (midday), how funny and wierd is that?!)
• Stef and Sam get married on Saturday and we had lots of fun at her Hen's night on Saturday.

So yea thats a few little bits of info. I will have a new blog probably sometime soon. I promise to keep this more up to date when I'm in China...!!

Bless Ya All!!

LeeshK (hehe - thats for Willz, who will prolly not ever read this but would find that funny)

Could it be true?

So the laptop saga continues. Apparently the part they need is no longer in stock and so they can't repair it. Nice of them to tell me this after three weeks. But I shouldn't complain, you need to read on...

Because they do not have that part anymore and I have a Farmers exteended warrenty, they may have to replace my laptop. Maybe....maybe I get a new one! Do you know how good that would be? My brick of a laptop which I was gonna have to carry all over the world MAY yet not be so big and heavy. I am amazed.

I am doubly (I dont know if this is a word...certianly not how I've spelt it!!) amazed because the only thing that is wrong with it is that the power cord falls out. The little part inside the computer that holds the power cord in is broken/loose and the pin in that part is bent. So I cannot charge my laptop without getting a tiny instrument and straightening the pin and then taping the cord to the laptop so it doesn't fall out. So nothing really big is wrong...just that lil thing...any MAYBE I get a new laptop. Wow

They have to fax the Farmers people then they have to decide what they are gonna do (give me a new one!!!! please??!!! I paid the extended warrenty!!! pretty please), and then they contact the people with my laptop who don't ring me about anything, so I have to keep ringing them....and one day, hopefully soon I will know.

The hard part is waiting

waiting

waiting

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I will keep you posted...the story is getting exciting.

Let me tell you how blessed I am...

So on Sunday I was once again awoken at 6.22am by my brothers stereo alarm going off. Not the best start to the day. Then just as I got back into bed after turning it off, I a get a text from my precious friend Aimee in London telling me how beautiful I am etc etc. Oh man. That put the biggest smile on my dopey sleepy face and I fell back on the pillow thanking the Father above for my wonderful friend.

It was quiet when I got up and started to get ready for church. Just me and my puppy stumbling around the house trying to wake up. I even sat down with a cup of tea for 15minutes....ahhh. So GOOD. I love tea....english breakfast tea....no, irish breakfast tea has to be my fav of all teas. Yum yum yum.

When I got back to my room after breakfast there was another text on my phone... my other amazing friend (I have many amazing friends), who lives in Tauranga, had texted me and said goodmorning and sent me a blessings text. How blessed I am.

Feeling overwhelmingly loved (you girls are such amazing girls) I went to church and got invited out to lunch with a older couple. We went to a Hong Kong restaurant and who turned up, but Cassandra and Chris, a young couple from church!! I was thinking I was going to be the only young person.** As we sat there eating from our bowls with Chopsticks and fellowshipping (old fashioned word, but appropriate in this case!) I stopped for a second and realised I was having the most amazing day. Good food, good company and a good Father who blessed me so so so much. Actually his blessings are continuous, its just on Sunday I noticed them more! I could get into providence at this point, but am a little unsure of the exact theology on this topic so I won't.

I hope that you all have the chance to recognise what our Dad upstairs is putting in your life to bless you today. I hope that you feel worthwhile and precious to Him, because he cherishs each of us so much. He truely does.

**It is important to note here that I am starting to be confronted by more Asian vs Blondie situations. In my Mandarin class and even in this restaurant I am the one who sticks out...blonde and fair :) I guess this is a very small taste of life in China. How exciting!!

nothing quite so boring as entertaining oneself

So this weekend I am on my own. The house is so peaceful and its actually really nice, until it gets dark and so quiet.

My family are away at church camp, and so that is why I find myself at home alone.

Last night I had a whole lot of girls over, which was realy nice....choclate, wine and movies. (Always the best combination!) Trying to replicate that myself tonight didnt really work quite as well! Hehe. But I did enjoy watching Jane Austin's 'Emma'. That was nice. Till it got all warm and fuzzy when she realised she'd loved this guy the whole time. Bla bla bla.* Forgive me for being cynical, but last night as we watched a movie with the name 'Stone' in the title...all the girls in the room wanted the most unrealistic romance to work out! I mean, you bring your prospective wife to family christmas, she offends the whole family because she's so uptight and then her sister arrives. Now who is the unsuspecting boyfriend going to fall in love with? And then who does the brother fall in love with?

In movie land I believe we call these parts of the move the 'twist'. The boyfriend falls for his girlfriends sister, and the girlfriend falls for the boyfriends brother. And we are sitting there wanting both stupid unrealistic relationships to work out. I mean...really?! Maybe romantic dreamers havn't changed much. Jane Austin like to hook the maiden up with the most unsuspectable guy in her stories. Of course she carefully plans their encounters and spins the tale much better than story tellers these days...but its the same principle. You fall in love with the last person you ever expected to.

Yes I'm cyncial. I don't know why. Movies feed us so much junk and we think thats what happens in reality. Please don't ask me how people fall in love. Last time I checked it was something beautiful that grew over time and mutual respect. Love at first sight?! Oh dear. Maybe I am in need of correction here.

If this is what being by oneself does, then perhaps I better go away with my family next time!! Hehe. I am feeling entertained. IF you could see me typing this right now you would see that I have a very cheaky smile on my face...my eyes are smiling and my lips are closed. Oh what fun writing on ones blog.....

By the way, my computer is still away. Darn thing. I want it back. I am much to reliant on teachnology. This is being written in my brother room on his new computer with Brooke Fraser in the background.

I must take my leave. The time is late. Night night :)

*If my writing is a little strange, please consider I've been watching a movie in old english for the last few hours. 'Oneself' is not the new cool word.

my laptop is gone... :(

It’s so sad. I have to find other things to do with my time. My laptop is at the computer doctors this week and next because it has something wrong with the power plug at the back. The power cord is so loose that the moment you bump the table or even type slightly excited you are on battery power again. And that is annoying. Very very annoying, because now my battery has only one hour time on it from being charged and uncharged so randomly.

Ok I feel better now.

But we have two other laptops in my household, so there is no need for alarm. But the long nights of wasting time at my desk jumping from blog to blog are gone. This gives me a chance to find alternative forms of entertainment...such as reading!! This is something that those of you who know me will find surprising. I haven't been doing a lot of reading, well none for the last few months. (This is not including the Good Book which I have been reading, although not reading enough of). But since I am sick of TV, and Grey's Anatomy and Gilmour Girls is only on once a week, I was forced to pick up a very good book that I shouldn't have forgotten about. It’s called River Town by Peter Hessler, and its a good book. It is more interesting now that the time for my departure and my new life is nearing. Peter Hessler was a Peace Corps volunteer in the late 90s and taught English for two years in Fuling, a town on the Yantze River. He taught and traveled, and studied Mandarin. Through all his journeys and thousands of conversations with people he kept a journal of sorts, which he uses to write this book. His discussion of things political is interesting, and he shows how so often the mindsets of the Chinese which annoyed him, were in reality not so different of his fellow Americans. He describes the landscape and history so beautifully, and as I read (I'm just over half way) I can't help but soak up everything he has to offer.

I know this might sound silly, but in preparation I am really trying to imagine what things will be like...to sort of soften the culture shock. I doubt it will, but as my thoughts are not far away from China these days any information on culture and life satisfies my desire just a little.

A little China update...

I have printed off the passport forms from the net as my passport expired two years ago just after my trip to Sydney. I am determined to have a half decent photo of myself for my passport, and as I also need 14 copies for on all the official forms, I want that one to look normal as well.

On Monday I have my doctors appointment...so he can sign papers that say that I am healthy and will be able to cope with life in China. He will also be arranging a whole lot of tests like AIDS, TB, lung x-rays and a few more. These also are part of the health report. There are specific ways all these things must be done, so I'm taking each step carefully and trying to do it all right. (Laura my Service Councilor has been wonderful and even rung me from America to go over all this with me!)

I finally feel like things are starting to happen. Financially things are going well, I have about 1/3 of my money, but of course the last 2/3s feel SO big and a little scarey to think about. But I am quietly reminded that He who is with me is greater than he who is in the world. My Father above has riches which he has blessed his people with, and I know he will also provide for me. Doesn't he promise that even the sparrows are fed and the lilies are clothed so what do we, HIS CHILDREN, have to worry about. I am so blessed.

The next big thing to do is book a flight, and because of some 'blessings' or 'Kate Shepard’s' I received a few weeks ago, I have enough moola to do this. Praise HIM!

So my friends, this is a little update for your eyes. Over Easter I went away with my family and have some really nice pics I will post when I get my laptop back. Hopefully fixed and covered by the warranty. Bless ya. Contact me if you wanna have a chat about China stuff, I would love to answer your questions and pop you on my emailing list.

finally a post!!

My apologies friends for tarrying so long and not posting. I've been keeping busy and also not been in the right mood to post...funny aye?

I sort of discovered that I hadnt been writing in my journal much and posting a lot. I know a blog is a bit of a journal, and as much as I think its really good to be honest with where I'm at and what is going on in my life...my Father in heaven still has to come first. To be honest I haven't been very conciencious about spending time with him this last little while, and this needs to be a priority in my life.

So I will attempt to somewhat update you about what is going on for me at the moment and then share a little about where my heart is at ;)

My new job is going well. I feel like I have some sort of grasp on what I need to be doing, although I feel like I am a little slower than I should be. I probably should work on talking less and working more. For all those who have had the priviledge (hehe) of sharing an office with me, you would be able to attest to the fact that I am a very social creature. My mind is not often on the work I am meant to be doing...and even less when its things like orders and invoices. While I do my work my mind wanders onto many other things...and then I just say what I'm thinking, which distracts other people and mostly myself. But the job is getting done, I just need to be challenging myself to do it better and with all my effort!

Church has been very good the last few weeks, like Willz was saying last night, it really feels like we are on the verge of something. Last night I knew God was really speaking to people...but I was feeling very impatient and wanting him to move in power. But I need to learn that things are better in Gods timing, and no matter how much I desire to see him move, in His wisdom he knows the right time for the move. Man I am so excited to already see how God is working in peoples lives. In so many of the young people I feel like I am recognising a boldness that is new and fresh. For the few I have had the privilege to share and pray with I have felt to speak aspects of leadership over their lives. Wow, the young people God is raising up in this generation really will stand up and live their lives for His glory. It is just so overwhelmingly amazing. Lord you are awesome!!

40days of Community finishes this week...I'm sorry to admit, but I only read two of the daily studies. It has been really cool having a new homegroup though, and its even more exciting making new friends. We have more people my age coming every week! Praise the Lord....!!!

So I said I would share with where I am at. Where I am at is kinda hard to explain. I don't even know where I am at. Its a valley of sorts I guess. Nothing really seems to move me...all I feel is stillness. Its kinda wierd, like not a peaceful stillness, but a dullness. Maybe its my own doing, maybe in an attempt to stop the tearyness of a few weeks ago I have blocked my emotions. I dunno. All I know is that even though I might be in a wierd place at the moment, God can use anything. The mountain tops are awesome, but the valleys are a part of life. They are what make us human.

No matter where I am, valley or mountain...my life is not my own. It belongs to my creator and I will live for his glory. So no matter how I feel, my actions do not change. I know what he has called me to do, I know he asks me to speak, and to reach out in love, and just live. All these things I will do for Him. For his glory. For his name to be given praise.

21st Pics

Sorry its taken me SO long to get these up...but they are finally here. I started my new job on my bday and its going really well, after the first few days of feeling very confused and emotional about it all. I will attempt to catch up on my blogging asap.

Enjoy!!

These are my school friends...aren't they beauitful? I love them so much. Its so cool that even after four years we are all still friends (when we get together for 21st and weddings!).
My darling and much loved Daddy.
My cousin Jonathan and his neice Emma and nephew David. Cuties.
My work friends from over the summer! They are great!! I wish I could still work with them....cause I miss them! :(
My beautiful girls....we are missing Emmy... she somehow just missed the camera most of the night. Perhaps she was a little distracted...oops.
Me and the best mum in the world who worked hard all night to make sure everything was happening! I did all the planning before, but without her the night would just not have worked! I got to enjoy the party and the people and that was just such a blessing.
These are my two Oma's. They totally look like they are enjoying themselves!

And that is all! You should have seen ALL THE PRESSIES!! And ALL THE MONIES! Wow! I went out afterwards with a few of my friends and even though I got home at 3.30am I wasn't tired so I stayed up reading cards and crying and laughing. Seriously I feel SO SO blessed by all the people in my life. You all play an important part, even if I don't get to see you much, you mean SO much to me!

Thankyou all for your kind words and presents. You really blessed me, especially at a time when I don't really have a lot to spend on myself because I'm saving really hard for my trip.

Thankyou and may you be richly blessed by our Father above.

Graduation Pics

Due to the impending business of the next few days, I thought I'd put these pics up now for your enjoyment. The next pics will probably be 21st ones...what an exciting time!!

Mum's and Oma's fussing...these things are complicated you see... :)

The first offical photo of the day!!

The AUT (Auckland University of Technology) banner. So to all you snobby other uni's out there...AUT is a University :P

This is the part of the ceremony where we walk from Albert Park to the Town Hall. Its all very exciting. We're on Queen St in this photo...for anyone who is not familar with NZ, this is the main street of Auckland City.

These are the very proud parents and grandmothers. See the camera? Well between me, mum and dad we have probably got just under 300 photos of the event. Hehehe

Isn't this a cute photo. Here I am in the town hall seated and waiting for things to get going. Great photography dad!!

Now this is important. My hood is red and white...I know it looks a little pink...but its red. This means I have a Bachelor of Arts from AUT. Only we have this specific hood (um, well I think so). So here it is...my hood and I.

And lastly, this is me with my offical papers which I intend on getting framed. I didn't realise, but aparently I have enough marks to do my Honours. Mmmm. I'll think on that.

hard words to hear

Sunday night was good. Hard, but good. The worship was annionted and I know that this is the start of something good in God. Anyways, during the worship I just went up front because I wanted to be free in worship and not stuck behind my chair. I just knelt down and worshipped and then God placed this scripture on my heart...

Matthew 16 v 24-26
"Then Jesus said to the disciples, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and follow me. If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find true life. And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process? Is anything worth more than your soul?"

In context these verses just stood out to me as significant to my life in general, but specifically my upcoming move to China. I am not sure what exactly I need to lay aside, but I am sure that God will reveal that in His timing. I know that I need to be willing to give up my 'western ways' and embrace Chinese culture and living. I know everything will be different, different smells, sounds, people, attitudes, norms....everything. And if I walk around thinking that it'll be easy making the move, I am definitley fooling myself. I words that resound in my head are 'dying to self'. But what does that really mean? Deniying myself things? Maybe it means what Matthew Henry says...

"Those that follow Christ, must not expect great or high things in this world. If self-denial be a hard lesson, it is no more than what our Master learned and practised, to redeem us, and to teach us."

And this next passge would seem to make this very same point...

Hebrews 11 v 39-40
"All of these people we have mentioned received God's approval because of their faith, yet none of them received all that God had promised. For God had far better things in mind for us that would also benefit them, for they can't receive the prize at the end of the race until we finish the race."

I guess I have more questions than answers at this point...but maybe thats how its meant to be when God is working on you. The cry of my heart is that he would chip away at the stuff on my heart that maybe I dont know is there, or stuff I do know but still need to deal with. Please pray that I would have ears to hear what He is saying.

photos from papamoa

Here are the photos I promised of our weekend in Papamoa....finally!! I left my camera at home that weekend, so I had to get them off my dads computer. It was just a great time with my fam...mucking around, hanging out together and generally having fun.

Enjoy!

Age and Jo...aren't they cute!! I had another photo, but Age would probably slaughter me if I put it up here!

Girls with the same hoodies...I know its back & white, but we really are wearing exactly the same ones...except mine's bigger! Isn't my lil sis, (cousin really) Lauren, so gorgeous?

See, same hoodie!!

Don't even think about messing with this lady here, she will TAKE YOU DOOOOWN!!!

The boys hired this lil go-kart, but it was actually quite hard to ride up hills...I think it had something to do with the angle. Look at the concentration on Lynd's face! Isn't it classic. (Lynd is on the left of the right-hand photo and on the right of the right-hand photo. Age is with him in the left photo and Ant is in the other.)

Auntie Mim and Age...hehe!

I've gotta have a token scenery photo...this is of the night sky...um yea, thats why its so dark!

The parents, look at their legs...they're crazy!! Ahhh, but we love them!

another new job

Before you accuse me of being inconsistent and flighty, please let me explain. Remember the 'spinning cycle' post last week? Well part of that was just dealing with the job I have been doing. And without complaining...I had said to God that I would just suck it up and do the job he had provided for me. At the same time there was the whisper of a prayer in my heart that something would change.

As it happens, a whisper in His will is all it takes.

This week is going to be an exciting one. Tonight after work I will be going to pick up my gown for graduation. I will get measured and fitted and then take it home to wear on Thursday!!! YAYAYAYAYAY! I am so excited about graduation!!

Then on Weds I will finnish up at my job here, Thurs is graduation, Friday party prep, Saturday "Alicia's ooolala 21st", and Monday is my bday and the first day at my new job as a receptionist at my mums work!!!! So so so exciting.

"He fills my life with laughter yaha ha ha ha
He fills my life with laughter yaha ha ha ha
He fills my life with laughter yaha ha ha ha
The joy of the Lord is my strength"

- Donut Man

LUKE 2 - Simeon & Anna

Well I really liked the whole of Luke 2, its so cool to read it after not having read that second beginning story in a while. It was something that really filled me with a sense of delight.

But the part that I especially liked was firstly Simeon's part. Just imagining it is almost magical. Here is a man who is so faithful to God, and God has shown him that he will see the Saviour before He dies. SEE THE SAVIOUR! Imagine you were back then and God told you that you would see with your own eyes the promised Messiah! Man that would be a hundred times better than finding out that a guy liked you! I've had some pretty cool times spent in God's presence, and if my experiences were even partly what it would be like to hold the Saviour in your arms...I'm sure I'd be getting prophecies from God if I was Simeon. Not for Simeon's credit (or mine) but your mouth and heart would not be able to contain the amazingness of the situation. You would just HAVE to speak the truth of the Holy Spirit moving in your spirit and pouring right out your mouth!

And then there is Anna, a prophet who "never left the Temple but stayed there days and night, worshipping God with prayer and fasting". I dunno, but when I read these four verses about Anna, I was intruiged and amazed. Here is a woman who was only married seven years when her husband died, and then gave her life over to God in worship. Your husband is dead and you're probably in your early 20s (considering woman married young), and paradoxically you respond by dedicating your life to worship God. The same God who counted the days of your husbands life and called him home. Worshipping in spirit and in truth takes on a whole new meaning! I doubt that without revelation of who God is and who his Son is, it would be unlikely that you could respond in this way. It does say, "Not by might, not by power, but by my Spirit". It is Him who is the enabler and initiator of right actions. It's more than that though. He is the guider of our lives, the one who directs our paths and number our days...no matter how much we might think we are in charge. I dunno bout you actually find so much comfort in that.



On another note, sorry about the lack of photos recently, I have had time to blog, but not time to add photos. Hopefully these will follow soon. And if your wondering what I'm doing these days, as soon as I have a chance I will have some photos of the beautiful buildings I walk past on my way to work.

I love old buildings.

Will there be many of these in China?

its a funny story really...

Back in the days when I was younger than I currently am right now, about five years ago, there was an event which this morning for some reason came into my mind. So this story is dedicated to my two long-time friends, Nicole and Ant. I will attempt to do it justice, although I suspect it is actually only funny for those who were there.

It was late in the evening, probably only 10.30pm, but when your 15years old and your curfew is 11pm, 10.30pm is reasonably late. (Although there were a few times Nicole and I stayed out talking in Ant's car till 1&2am!) Anyway, we had been playing pool...well attempting to play pool under Ant's tutiliage...at the place on Benlomond Cres, and we'd got in Ant's car to go home for the evening. There had been some noisy and fast cars going down that road all evening, but they all seemed to be gone by this time. We had driven about 100meters when we get pulled over by a police car. Nicole and I instantly panicked.

It is important to have a little aside note here. Nicole and I were both very innocent 15year olds. We'd grown up in sheltered Christian schools and the naughtiest thing we'd probably ever done was roll our skirts higher than our knees...well Nicole did get in trouble for staring out the window at ducks once...anyways. (Focus Alicia!) Although we both had had drivers licences for over a year by this stage, being pulled over by a policeman was an absolutly petrifying idea. To demonstrait this; a few years later when I was breath-tested (and of course I hadn't been drinking) I was shaking just after telling the policeman my address. Ok so now that you know of my patheticness, back to the story...

We have been pulled over, Nicole and I are panicking in the car and the policeman comes to the window and asks Ant to come to his car to talk to him. Remember we still havn't broken the law or done anything remotely wrong. At this stage Nicole and I start to pray. And not just "Lord please help us", but more like tounges and the whole shibang. Believe me, I'm sure if we were introuble the angels would have been there to help. In front of us we see Ant talking to the policeman, and talking and talking and talking. What they were talking about we found out later, but it would ruin the story if I told you now. So we're praying, Ant is talking to the policeman and thinking back the scene must have been hillarious if anyone could have seen us. When I remembered this event this morning I just internally started to crack up. I couldnt crack up in real life though, people might think I'm wierd! (mmmm - no comment)

Anyway, we're still praying as Ant walks back and gets in the car, far to calmly for our liking. As it turns out there had been boy racers on the road that night and the policeman just wanted to know if we'd seen anything. Why he had to take Ant away to talk to him I don't know, but I will ask Ant if this is a police scare tacktic...now that he's a policeman. After they had discussed the boy racers, they started have a great "I know someone you know" conversation, something only Ant could do in the circumstances, and that is why they had talked so long.

Aaaaah. Yes. And we had been praying. What a night :)

spinning cycle

So life right now is spinning out of control. I can't seem to even put a few things in order and then its all a mess again. Isn't that the way sometimes? Last night at church I just couldnt focus, I had trouble worshipping and then there is that friend who I've hurt who says he's forgiven me but now there is damage that only time can heal. ARGGG. I could list off another few things that are making life confusing and hard right now, but there really is no point.

I shouldn't be surprised when life turns to sludge. Especially when I've been struggling to spend time with God. There is nothing that draws us back to Him on our knees like troubles. Just ask one of the girls at church who's boyfriend of almost a year broke up with her on Friday, she told me that she doesn't know how people make it through stuff without God. Neither do I really. Infact I'm pretty sure if I didnt have Him I wouldnt be coping right now. I'd be even more of a mess than I already am!

At times like these its hard even to find a Bible passage which will 'cheer me up'. Nothing seems to fit, except maybe Job. He cried out for a mediator, and we have Him in Jesus...but these thoughts really aren't enough to comfort me these days. You know what does though? Something strange and wierd...but the thought that God would care enough about me to work on me. And do you know where I did find peace in my mess today? Down at Onehunga Bay staring out at the water on my break. Again the song that seems to define my life came to my lips and once again allowed me to worship...

I love you Lord
And I lift my voice
To worship you
Oh my soul rejoice
Take joy my King
In what you hear
Let it be a sweet, sweet sound
In your ear

Its funny what creation does to the soul. I'm pretty sure it has a healing aspect...as my friend Dave U joked with me about not long ago. His theory is that one day all businesses will see nature retreats are an important part of productivity. :)

no photos sorry

Hey hey ya'll. Sorry I've been so slack in posting this last week, and I don't have any new photos to share with you :( . I haven't really been doing anything of interest, so I didnt want to bore you all. Hopefully I will take some cool photos on the weekend...cause I'm going away!!! My family is going down to Papamoa and that means I get to see my dear friend Katie who is at the House of Prayer in Tauranga, which is so exciting.

My job is going ok, it makes it all better when I get my pay...the first one being today. I am moving up to the sanitised sales offices upstairs this morning and went up yesterday for about an hour, but my phone wasn't working. Apparently it is now, so I am moving on up this morning.

Life is just so busy, I would so appreciate your 'thoughts' (practising my CG's) as I seem not to be getting enough sleep and everybody seems to want me for something. Even though the only two nights I am out regularly are Mondays and Wednesdays, the last couple of weeks it feels like I have been out more than I have been at home. And when you are so busy its really hard to find time to just think. I am starting to realise that the next few months and also when I get to China are going to be a very busy time for me.

I am also in a little bit of a predicament because after sharing about China and singing on Sunday I had a lady came up to me and said she wanted to support me. Then I was promptly asked to give her son singing lessons. So being in such a awful spot I said yes, but I went around last night and he son was sick with athsma, he can't really sing at all, and she didn't pay me. The thing is, I already have a job, I don't need another one and I know that she perhaps had good intentions in asking me to 'help me out', at the moment, more work isn't really helpful at all...especially when you do it and don't get paid. I hope you see where I am coming from... But now I don't know what to do! Should I just abandon the whole thing all together and say I am too busy to teach, or do I approach the money subject somehow.

Its not fair, its just too hard!

My one happy moment last night was when I got to watch Grey's Anatomy which we had on tape from Monday night. I know that sounds shallow, but I do enjoy that program...yet another thing I will miss when I'm in China. Thats ok though, I probably won't have time to watch tv!!

So that is all for now...cheerio! Enjoy the below: (the last one is my favourite)

"The difficulty with this conversation is that
it's very different from most of the ones I've had of late. Which, as I
explained, have mostly been with trees." Douglas
Adams

The difficulty with this conversation is that it's very different from most of the ones I've had of late. Which, as I explained, have mostly been with trees. Douglas Adams

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. Douglas Adams

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. Douglas Adams

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. Douglas Adams

new job, new attitude, and more mandarin sounds

Which one should I start with? Ummm... the most humbling is gotta go first.

Yea.. 40 days of Community. Welll, on Wednesday morning at prayer meeting one of the girls just randomly prayed that she would be forgiven for her bad attitutes etc. Yea well feeling convicted at the point, I felt like I had some of my own stuff that needed confessing. Putting aside my pride...as well as I could I admitted I really had trouble with having a good attitude about 40days. As it turns out my yth pastor had been feeling a little the same.

So even though I'm still not FULLY amped about 40days, I am much happier about it, and glad to know that I wasn't alone in my feelings. And I'm totally not going to obsess over the whole thing and make it a bigger deal than it is. Maybe I won't blindly follow everything in Uncle Rick's book, but I won't obsessivly look for problems.

A change of topic...my new job. It's going well, I answer the phone and try and appease all the angry people who want their iPod back NOW. "Unfortunatly sir there is a que and since yours arrived only yesterday it probably won't be look at till um...nevaaaa" Nah jokes, thats not what I tell them, but I'm getting good at spinning stories full of truthful stuff (its the truth that hurts) facts said in a calming assertive way. Can you imagine. The job proabably suits me well :) I've been walking from my dads work to my work every day. It takes about 20- 25mins, so its nice to be getting a bit of exercise...and giving my car a rest :) Saving petrol is ALL GOOD.

Lastly...Mandarin, Yay, its so fun. Again I probably sound like a white girl trying way to hard, but I am learning SO much and just loving it. And my teacher didn't make me repeat the sounds over and over, he seemed happy with how I was saying it. So yay!! And one day very very soon (almost too soon) I will get to try those words out.

Its such a wierd wierd thought to think (hehe) that I will be going to China...that I will be living in China...that China will become home. *Sigh* I am so excited and happy...but also feel the intrepidation. (is that spelt right?)

i did it...i committed :(

I gave in. I was intending on being outside this whole 40 days of community thing…but I broke. We had homegroup tonight, and I got the book and wrote in it, so now I gotta sign up and pay my $15. Sigh. I’m just going along with the crowd. To be honest I’m not really sure exactly why I’m not really excited about 40 days of Community. Maybe its just that I feel like another program is not really what we need. And maybe its cause I am so tired of getting the same basics all the time. People I would like some meat please! Milk is great and important for babies, but I really want something to sink my teeth into…excuse the euphemism. (is that a euphemism?) And all these broad statements like “nothing I believe or know with matter unless I have love”. Really people! Can we not see what the writer is doing in this passage? Am I able to love others without first experiencing Christs love for me? I know this is implicit in this statement above, but surely that is the basis of all we are talking about and is worth pointing out? Isn’t that a foundation of my faith? It’s the fact that I am made in God’s image and therefore all humans are…isn’t the knowledge and believe of that the reason why I love others?

Perhaps I am taking what is said out of context…actually I probably am. But my point is still valid. Yes lets talk about loving others, lets point out that good works don’t get you into heaven. But tell me why I should love people. Tell me who God is so I can understand how amazing it is that he loves me. That is what is important. Then we can talk about these other things, but without a proper understanding of who God is, on what basis can I love others?

I don’t want to get on the judgemental band wagon here. And I know I have about 40days. I didn’t want to join in because I don’t think 40days of purpose was that amazing, and I don’t see how it gave me purpose. I got more direction and purpose out of my life through the summer internship I did studying God’s word and learning about Him, learning about the problem with us and the amazing way He redeems us. Because of all those things…Christs love compels me.

Does anyone get this? Am I totally off track?

*Sigh*